Being Clay...

These days are passing over me

At the speed of light

And standing here in their shadows

I'm silenced at the sight

Like water on the wind I sense the change to come

All that I've held in like teardrops run

I am clay and I am water

Falling forward in this order

While the world spins 'round so fast

Slowly I'm becoming who I am

Nothing ever stays the same

The wheel will always turn

I feel the fire in the change

But somehow it doesn't burn

Like a beggar blessed I stumble in the Grace

Reaching out my hand for what awaits

I am clay and I am water

Falling forward in this order

While the world spins 'round so fast

Slowly I'm becoming who I am

I will live

From my heart

And I will catch the lines of love as they come

Back to You

I know they'll lead

And into You

I know I'll lean

The words of that song (Clay and Water, Margaret Becker) ring so true in my heart right now as I ponder this season of my life.

My oldest, Corbin, is preparing to begin the chapter of his life titled "No Longer a Toddler but Not Quite Twenty-One" as he eagerly awaits his fifth birthday, lol. He is a boy... rough, hyper, loud, loves tools & helping anyone & everyone accomplish a task. He's sensitive & loving, learning how to control his emotions & serve others. He loves "creating" stories about things he did or will do. For instance, he 'has to go to work' every day so he can make money to buy things for other people... or he 'will be gone for a long time helping those who were in a tornado' or some other kind of natural disaster. *Smile* He desires a servant's heart like his daddy!

My sweet girl, Hayden aka Yay Yay, was successfully moving to the fabulous world of wearing "Manies" instead of diapers... even at night. However, this week has been a huge setback in her progress & the amount of money we've probably spent washing her bed sheets over & over & over... well you get the idea. Her vocabulary is increasing by leaps & bounds, & she is VERY independent- "Me do it!" is probably her most popular quote right now. She too has a true servant's heart! She will drop whatever she's doing at any given moment to retreive something for someone else. She volunteers to help with just about anything. She's getting taller & slimming down. Her beautiful blonde hair is getting longer, revealing the wonderful curls that she must have gotten from her daddy! (I guess he has all the good qualitites)

And then there's my baby, Elijah. He'll celebrate his first birthday with Big Bubba in just over a month. He's learning to walk, talk via sign language & eat table food. He's joyful & happy if there's music to dance to or puppies to see. He loves the outdoors too... Oh & his Pawpaw! :-D He is adventerous, daring & very strong-willed. We should've known since the Lord said he was going to be our "Warrior"!!

As my children grow, I am learning the importance of leaning on Christ & His Spirit to guide me throughout the day. I'm learning to love more, be more merciful, more patient, mentally stretched to greater lengths while maintaining a sense of stability so they don't know they've 'conquered' me again, lol. I also find myself longing to feel the swooshing, kicking, flipping of new life inside my womb once again. You're probably thinking I'm nuts. I'm learning to not be so shocked by the negative comments people dole out when you walk through the grocery store with more than two children in tow. Yes, I admit, it's not always easy having three young children! I won't pretend our days are rosy, full of polaroid moments of laughter & 'fluff' or even that I'm a great mom. I have a LONG way to go. But the fact of the matter is they will not be 'young' for very long. Someday they will be grown with families of their own (Lord willing). I will be left with the memories we made & hopefully, no regrets about how they were raised.

Life is a cycle. As I witness my children learning-from the simplest tasks like walking & feeding themselves to what it means to exhibit self control & respect authority-I realize the importance of being clay so my Father, the potter, can make me into a willing vessel for honorable use (2 Tim 2:21). My children look to me everyday to teach them by example how to live. I want to leave them a legacy of living, loving, serving & praying like Jesus did.

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8